You didn't hurt any feelings at all

On another note. To someone else:

I am so sorry I can never be that to you. I am so sorry I can't return your feelings. And I am so sorry that I'm hung up on him ^^^.

I can not tell you how long I've wanted to hear you say that.
I can not tell you, how ever happy it would make me, how bad I'd be for you.
I REALLY hope you're the only one who still reads this, because it's only to you.
There's only one more thing I have to say:
I haven't stopped smiling since I read that blog post. You finally found someone else, someone to care about. I'd hoped to be the one you did care about, but i miss more than anything the friends we were before I told you my feelings.
THAT was the guy I want to be. THAT is who I want to be for you. THAT is when I was happy, you were happy, and we could lay in the floor and just talk.
Now, it's a chore to come up with chit-chat.
Maybe, just maybe we can mend what I broke. Maybe, just maybe we can be the kids we were?
But enough of that, I wish I could fit all that in a text, but fuck my phone.
I love you, Martin.
Smile:)?

Just Dissappointment

I'm so tired of constantly being disappointed.
SO! No longer will I "put myself out there." All it ever seems to lead to is Le Shit.
Yes.
Le Shit.
I'm trying out this new thing, BEING FRENCH.
But not really.
New Year's Resolutions:
1)Quit being a little bitch
2)Pull up my fucking grades
3)Tell people things that I've always wanted to never tell them, but never had the balls to do so
4)????
5)Profit
(Those are obviously placeholders, except for the last one, profit is always nice)
But I finally DID actually tell someone how I felt, and it was something I honestly never had any intentions on doing. But, I guess that's what I get for drinking. NO MORE OF THAT!
Hmm.. what else do I need to vent about?
/lil' bitch on
Crying. It's one thing I've never been good at. But lately I've been feeling like it's been just right there behind my eyes, I just can't do it. There's so much more shit that could be happening to me now that is way worse but isn't. But I still want to give up. For good/ever. Yeah that, the cowards way out. I don't honestly think I ever could, because I made a promise that I never would, and I don't intend on breaking any promises to that person anytime in the foreseeable future.
/lil' bitch off
That's all I can think of, but I think I'm going to make an effort to post here once a week at least. It's a good release. I mean, unless anyone other than like, martin read this >.> <.< shit time to remove followers, if I can. yeh. that.